The Orrish feel that the humans are going to send a large force of soldiers after they were last beat back.
The rain is falling steadily. There is the sound of distant thunder. As you watch the plateau in the distance, a figure becomes visible walking towards you. It is a large thin figure, about 3m tall, and 145kg (320). There are dark clouds above it, but as it comes closer the fogs and Mists part for it. The area itself seems to bend and twist, and within a moment the figure seems a hundred meters closer. You can make out some details. A dark overcoat, high collar, a cap, and barefoot. His skin is dark, and shiny. His eyes are dark blue, and seem to sparkle menacingly. He raises his hands. “I am… unarmed… may I speak?”
I am a simple traveler from Eindringling. A merchant if you will. I peddle the will of the fates… and others. I bring to you an offer…
– Eindringling = sounds like Orrish for “Intruder” (interloper = moon)
I was told you nasty people were flushed off the plateau. They did dumps. They call them dumps, big, massive dumps.
Warlock of Shitstorm Capitalism (HEX – “Fuck Everyone”
Starting at 1st level, you gain the ability to place a baleful curse on people. Once per rest, as an action, reaction, and bonus action, choose one creature you can see within 90 feet of you. The target is cursed for 1 minute. The curse ends early if the target dies, you die, or you are incapacitated. Until the curse ends, you gain the following benefits: (DC 21 to resist hex)
– You gain an extra attack to be used on the target
– You gain a bonus to damage rolls against the cursed target. The bonus equals your PB.
– Any attack roll you make against the cursed target is a critical hit on a roll of 19 or 20.
– If the cursed target dies, surrenders, or becomes unconscious, you regain hit points equal to your warlock level + your Charisma modifier (7 & 5 = 12). Additionally, all items of value on the target lose half their value, degrading in quality.
It staggers, limps, grunts, farts, and belches its way around the battlefield. It smells like McDonalds food dunked in milk that’s been on the counter for days. Every time he hits, he yells “Tariff!”
No str/dex adj, and fights (+3 att) with a gold plated club (d6/3/6/12), and gold plated brass knuckles (d3/2/3/6)
Health: 50 +20 temp
> Anointed: Resistance to Radiant / Shit Diet: Resistance to Necrotic & Poison
Armor: Russian Bondage Straps 11 + Trump Tower Shield 4 = AC 20 (3 resilience)
Shield of Cyber Truck (+2 AC/1 Resilience)
MAgic Cybertruck Armor (goes away when when 25 damage taken)
> as he dons it, he looks over his shoulder and says “there is no pee-pee tape!”
Invocation: Beguiling Presence, Bewitching Whispers, Devil’s Sight, Fiendish Vigor = 6 as action “you’re fired!”
Warlock Spells: 2 x 4th level slots, knows 5, cantrips 3 (prestidigitation, friends, litigation spray)
Litigation Spray: half move 1 rnd, disadvantage on next PER check, disadv on text attack, disadv on next save
Shield of Cybertruck (shield, but 1-3 on d6 breaks start of each round), Armor of Cybertruck (deals all 20 electrical and creates Stinking Cloud; falls apart at first hit BZT! and difficult terrain for 1 round)
Hype-Man: Joe Rogon – Before a fight, he grants a basic inspiration (d6)
Fluff-Boy: Elon Musk, high priest of Tesla! Casts armor of Stock Value (Mage Armor, but goes away when half Health!)
Accursed Specters (he sends these in first)